[quote:237b81eca2="cloudxu"]House: I always say if you’re going to get shot, do it in a hospital.
我总是说如果你要挨枪子的话，最好的地方还得是在医院里。（近水楼台先得月）
Moriarty: You think that the only truth that matters is the truth that can be measured. Good intentions don’t count, what's in your heart doesn't count, caring doesn’t count, that a man's life can't be measured by how many tears are shed when he dies. It's because you can't measure them. It’s because you don’t want to measure them. Doesn’t mean it's not real. And even if I'm wrong, you’re still miserable. Did you really think that your life’s purpose was to sacrifice yourself and get nothing in return? No. You believe there is no purpose to anything. Even the lives you save you dismiss. You turn the one decent thing in your life and you taint it, strip it of all meaning. You're miserable for nothing. I don’t know why you'd want to live.
MORIARTY：你认为唯一有价值的真实是那些可以被衡量的真实，所以善意并不算数，好心也不作数，关怀也不重要，一个人的价值并不能用他葬礼上洒落的泪水来衡量。其实这是因为你并不想去衡量这些东西，而不是因为他们并不重要。即使我错了，你依旧活的悲惨可怜。你真的认为生命的意义在于牺牲自己而一无所求？ 不，你是个不相信任何意义的虚无主义者。 就连你拯救的那些生命你也视若无物，你行善事却无善心，你活的悲惨是因为你一无所有，我不知道你为什么还能继续活下去。（HOUSE的自我批判可真是够毒的，果然是严于律人，更严律己啊！）
House: Sevens marry sevens, nines marry nines, fours marry fours. Maybe there’s some wiggle room if there's enough money or if somebody got pregnant. But you’ve got at least three points on your husband and your frock says he didn't do it for the money and your breasts say you haven't had any kids.
Judy: So you figure my marriage is a mathematical error.
HOUSE： 龙配龙，凤配凤，乌龟配王八。如果某人有钱或是怀孕的话可能还有点灵活的空间，可是你至少比你丈夫高3分，而你的外套说明你不缺钱，而你的胸脯又说明你还没有生育过。
JUDY： 所以你认为我的婚姻是个概率学上的错误。
House: Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both
HOUSE： 我的哲学是：你要么要求别人道歉，要么射他两枪，不能两样都要。（应该先让人道歉再开枪而不是反之）
Dr. Cameron: She’s a Katrina victim.
House: She's better than Crandall – he’s a Katrina victim victim
CAMERON： 她是Katrina台风的受害者。
HOUSE： 她比CRANDALL好多了，他是Katrina台风受害者的受害者。
House: Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks. Give me something new and shiny.
HOUSE： 主意可不象可乐罐一样可以循环利用，给我点新鲜的。
Dr. Foreman: (about his father) He's not proud of me, he's proud of Jesus. Everything I do right is God's work, everything I do wrong is my own damn fault.
FOREMAN： 他才不会为我感到骄傲，他是为耶酥而骄傲，我做对的每件事都是上帝的功劳，我做错的每件事都TMD是我自己的错。
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) I can’t even imagine the backward logic you used to rationalize shooting a corpse.
House: Well if I shot a live person there's a lot more paperwork.
CUDDY： 我都无法想象你怎么跟我“合理”的解释射击一具尸体这件事。
HOUSE： 恩，如果我开枪射个活人的话会有更多的文件要处理。
(doing introductions)
House: Wilson! This is Dry Cleaner Guy. Tax Accountant. Guy from the bus stop. This is Wilson.
Dry Cleaner: How come he gets a name?
House: Seniority.
HOUSE：（HOUSE家的打牌聚会）WILSON，这位是干洗店员，这个是税务会计，公车司机，这位是WILSON
干洗店员： 怎么就这家伙有名字？
HOUSE：他比你们的资格老。
Dr. Chase: You're going to talk to a patient?
House: God talks to him. It'd be arrogant of me to assume I'm better than God.
CHASE：你打算和这个病人谈话？（这可真不象HOUSE啊）
HOUSE：连上帝都和他谈话，我还没有傲慢到认为自己比上帝还强的地步。（也差不了多少了）
House: God ever talk to you when you were in the seminary?
Dr. Chase: Ummm... no.
House: God's loss, our gain.
HOUSE：在神学院的时候上帝和你交谈过吗？
CHASE：没有
HOUSE：那可是上帝的损失啊，倒是便宜我们了。
House: No - you talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you - you're psychotic.
HOUSE： 你和上帝交谈，你是基督徒，上帝和你交谈，你是精神病。
Dr. Chase: I vote for neurofibromitosis.
House: Why?
Dr. Chase: Because the other choices suck worse.
CHASE：我认为病人得的是neurofibromitosis（别问我这是啥东东）
HOUSE：为什么？
CHASE：因为其他的选项要糟糕的多。
(House stops Foreman from writing on the whiteboard)
House: Sorry, there's a reason they call it the whiteboard. It's not my rule.
HOUSE：（阻止FOREMAN往白板上写字） 对不起，人们叫这个做“白”板是有原因的。
Ronald: I assume House is a great doctor?
Dr. Chase: Why would you assume that?
Ronald: Because if you’re that big a jerk you’re either great or unemployed.
RONALD：我猜HOUSE是个名医。
CHASE：为什么你会这么想？
RONALD：因为象他那么混的人如果不是特别有本事的话肯定找不到饭碗的。（有道理，各位找不到工作的人得看看究竟自己是没本事呢还是个性有问题了。）
House: (discussing Alex's breasts) Two clinic hours says that those love apples are handcrafted by God.
Dr. Foreman: I thought you didn't believe in God.
House: I do now.
HOUSE：这两个小时的诊断我确定了一件事，她的乳房是上帝的杰作。
FOREMAN：我以为你不信上帝的。
HOUSE：现在我信了。
Dr. Foreman: House! You can't do this!
House: Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.
FOREMAN：HOUSE，你不能这么做。
HOUSE：噢，如果每次我听到这话能得到一角钱的话，我早成百万富翁了。
Stella: What's wrong with your foot?
House: War wound.
Stella: Does it hurt?
House: Every day.
Stella: Is that why you're so sad?
House: Oh aren't you adorable. I'm not sad, I'm complicated - chicks dig that. One day you'll understand.
STELLA：你的脚怎么了？
HOUSE：战争受的伤。
STELLA：它疼吗？
HOUSE：每天都疼
STELLA：所以你看起来才这么忧伤吗？
HOUSE：你真可爱，这不叫忧伤，这叫做深沉，女孩子就喜欢深沉的男人，等你长大了就明白了。
Dr. Chase:We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine
House: I teach you to lie and cheat and steal, and as soon as my back is turned you wait in line?
CHASE：我们的MRI排在二十分钟以后，这已经是FOREMAN的最大努力了。
HOUSE；我教了你们那么多的坑蒙拐骗，我刚一走开你们就去老老实实的排队？
Dr. Wilson: Do you know your phone’s dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries?
House: They recharge? I just buy new phones.
WISON：你知道你的手机关机了吗？难道你就不会去充电吗？
HOUSE；这手机还能充电啊？我每次都是再去买个新手机。
Dr. Chase: Gambling doesn’t take away (House’s) pain.
House: It does when I win.
CHASE：赌博并不能消除你的病痛。
HOUSE： 我赢的话就可以。
Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn’t you fire him?
House: He has great hair.
Stacy: What are you hiding?
House: I’m gay. Oh…that’s not what you meant. It does explain a lot though. No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers…
STACY：如果是CHASE搞砸了，为什么你不炒了他？
HOUSE：他的头发很漂亮。
STACY：你到底在隐瞒什么？
HOUSE：我是同性恋，哦，那不是你想问的。不过这到是解释了很多事情，没有女友，老和WILSON在一起，总是穿运动鞋。。。（GAY和运动鞋有什么关系？[/quote]
谢谢cloudxu，看到第一句的时候我就已经忍俊不禁了。
联想起HOUSE里大叔的那幅“嘴脸”，太损了。
